May 30 2011

The curious case of Benjamin Button

Published by at 11:41 am under Just another day in Paradise

I’ve got news for you: Even if you ever managed to get that sexy girl on the cover of the magazine, you would still in time turn her into a boring and mother-like figure that looks after you, so better just leave her on that magazine, where she looks better and is definitely having more fun.

Today I went to visit one of my girlfriends at her house where she now lives with her boyfriend. The minute she opened the door, I immediately remembered how striking and sexy she was, which apparently both her and I had forgotten. After letting her know how great she looked, she took me down to the kitchen where she offered to make me some tea while she was making her boyfriend’s coffee. We chatted for a while, but soon realised that all we were talking about were the little things she had to do here and there, for her boyfriend. ‘I have a couple of his t-shirts that I need to wash, and we kinda need to do it now ’cause he won’t have anything clean to wear in the evening when he goes out’. I tried to intervene, but she wouldn’t have it. ‘I’ll make his lunch and tidy up his things a bit, and then I’m all yours, we can sit outside, have some tea and talk’. I nodded, sad. ‘So, things are about to get wild, then’?… She laughed. ‘Well, you know how it is, when you are in a relationship and you live with the person you love’… I had to interrupt her: ‘You become his mum’? She shook her head and took his coffee upstairs to the living room where he was sitting. ‘No, it’s just not all about you anymore’. ‘It can still be a little bit about you though, can’t it?’, I asked.

We entered the living room where he was lying on the sofa, watching TV, like a true Greek man. ‘Hey, how are you?’, I asked, but he wasn’t that bothered. ‘Here, I made you your coffee, we’ll be outside if you need us, ok?’, she said and he struggled to nod and acknowledge she existed. We went out to wash his t-shirts and I couldn’t help but stare at her, feeling sorry for her. The woman that had always been one of my most intelligent and beautiful friends, was looking like a boring mother of a teenage son. ‘He had a bit of an argument with one of his friends the other day, so he’s a bit upset. He’s sensitive, you know’?… I shook my head, not knowing, and definitely not caring. ‘So, how are you? What’s new with you‘? She looked a bit unsure. ‘Mmm… Let me see… When was the last time I saw you? I few months ago… Nothing really has changed… I mean, everything has been ok, nothing major’. ‘How’s the dancing going?’, I asked, trying to remind her a bit of her sexy side. ‘There’s no time for dancing, I’m afraid. Too many things to do, maintaining a house and a man is a full time job’. ‘But that was how this man met you and fell in love with you in the first place. Didn’t you guys meet in one of our dance shows’? She tried to remember. ‘Yes, you’re actually right. But that was long time ago’…

We met up with a few friends in the afternoon and the minute we sat at our table and ordered our drinks, I started bombarding one of our guys friends with questions, since he’s been the one this year to get the hottest girlfriend. ‘How’s it going with you two? I’ve shown everybody pictures of her from magazines and stuff, everyone says she’s the hottest girl ever! You’re so lucky’. He nodded, barely accepting it. ‘Yeah, she’s nice’. ‘What do you mean she’s nice? She’s a model, she’s beautiful, and she has the most amazing body’! He smiled and thought about it. ‘Yes, she has a good body. Ah… You know how it is, women are sexy on a magazine, but then on a Sunday morning, when they wake up without make-up and put an apron around their waist and cook a million things for the friends that are coming over for lunch… Not so sexy eh?… She is getting bigger and bigger everyday, she is starting to look like a fat baker or something. A mum or an aunt you went to visit for some good, homemade food’. I was left speechless. When I managed to talk, I just had to ask. ‘Why don’t you tell her that you don’t like that? That you liked the sexy girlfriend you used to have, much better’? He shook his head, laughing. ‘Because I don’t. She’s looking after me, she has everything in place for me, she makes great food. You know, if I want to look at a sexy girl, I just go and get a magazine and look at the girls in there. My girl is my companion, she’s there to help me, not just to look pretty’.

This reminded me of a time I was cleaning the house, doing the laundry and cooking at the same time, dressed in my house clothes and with my hair pulled back like a cleaning lady, without make-up and will to live, when my boyfriend, sat on the couch, commented, while watching something on the TV. ‘Man, she’s hot that woman. Amazing. Her boyfriend must be the luckiest man in the world, eh? Imagine, sleeping with that woman at night’… I stopped what I was doing to see what he was looking at. He was watching one of Shakira’s videos, and I stopped to join him. When it hit me: That gorgeous looking woman, was no more gorgeous or sexy that most of my girlfriends, or even me. But she was a beautiful woman dancing and singing and skating around Barcelona, and not a beautiful woman cleaning, washing and cooking. I looked at myself in the mirror and compared the two images: I was a mum, she was a girlfriend. And even though my boyfriend could have felt equally lucky to be sleeping with me at night, he didn’t.

So… Is it me, or do people completely change, the minute they get into a relationship? Is it me, or do attractive, intelligent and passionate women become boring bakers and cleaners, while strong and sexy men become teenage sons and unsatisfied brats? Is it me, or do the men get the hot women only to soon turn them into their mothers, while women immediately after they have been gotten, relax and completely surrender to the role of a boring companion? And is it me, or is the only thing that separates us from amazing women like Beyonce, Shakira or Salma Hayek, not the looks, but the way we choose to spend our time? While they choose to focus on themselves, we choose to focus on a guy that gets younger and younger everyday, like Benjamin Button. And by the way, is it me, or is this movie’s theme inspired by the real everyday life a bit more than we would like to admit? Brad Pitt and Kate Blanchett get together, and start a relationship in which he keeps getting younger, while she keeps looking after him and getting older. Now, if this isn’t art imitating life, then I don’t know what is.

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4 responses so far

4 Responses to “The curious case of Benjamin Button”

  1. Georgiaon 30 May 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Ok, seriously, one of the best posts. It’s not you-that’s how it is and I’m now convinced that this is what Benjamin Button is actually about…

  2. Angeliki Coconion 31 May 2011 at 7:42 am

    And just you wait until I reveal what ‘Shrek’ is all about…

  3. Douglas Fraseron 09 Jul 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Ola. It’s been a long time.

    Sadly none of the strong independent woman that I’ve gone out with have ever descended into mothering me – what on earth have I been doing wrong.

    Beyonce, Shakira and Salma still have to do all the chores or rather have someone do the chores for them – and maybe that’s the difference 🙂

  4. Angeliki Coconion 22 Jul 2011 at 6:14 pm

    Beyonce doing chores… Something doesn’t sound right here Douglas…
    It’s been way too long, and I had started thinking that you don’t read all my complaining anymore…
    How are you?! x

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