Jun 14 2011

Faith no more

If a person has reached a certain age (anything older than five), then you should be able to trust that some things can go without saying. Right?

A few weeks now in Athens, a few weeks around the family, and we’re back to square one. ‘I’ll quickly park the car here and pop out to get a coffee’, my aunt said this morning, as she pulled over. Being really warm in the car, I asked her whether it would be ok if I got off for a while to get some fresh air. ‘I’ll go and sit under that tree in the shade until you come back; it’s way too hot in here’. She looked at me puzzled. ‘Yeah, fine, but you need to close the door behind you when you do’. I thought about it for a few seconds, trying to find the secret meaning of that phrase, but there wasn’t one. ‘Yes of course I will, it goes without saying’. She shook her head, a bit unsure. ‘I don’t know’… ‘What don’t you know? That I can think as far as closing the door and locking it behind me, when I leave the car’? She got off and walked away: ‘I’ve seen a lot in my life, I don’t know what to expect anymore’…

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Jun 09 2011

Everybody needs somebody to ask

I should just be honest with you: I don’t know what other people want to eat, drink or do, and I don’t really care. But since you care, you might as well ask them, see what they say. If you don’t want to do that, then better wait for them to come to you. But in no case should you ever involve me in this.

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Jun 06 2011

Parent Trap

We get it. Your son/daughter is the best. And we should be very grateful for even being allowed to be around him/her. Could we now move on and talk about something else?

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Jun 03 2011

I friggin’ worship you, man…

The problem is that having someone great as your idol is not going to save you. If anything, it raises the expectations people have of you, and make your fall in their eyes, even greater. Having a low-key role model, on the other hand, can really make you look good, so it’s sometimes worth a try. Continue reading …

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May 30 2011

The curious case of Benjamin Button

I’ve got news for you: Even if you ever managed to get that sexy girl on the cover of the magazine, you would still in time turn her into a boring and mother-like figure that looks after you, so better just leave her on that magazine, where she looks better and is definitely having more fun.

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May 26 2011

Brokeback Mountain

What does it say about you, when your boyfriends like each other’s company more than your own?

And so we’re back in Athens, this time with Theo, this being the first time since my first long-term relationship, that a boyfriend of mine is entering the house, my group of friends, my Greek life. And more than anything, this being the first time that my current boyfriend meets my main ex and spends time with him. ‘Ouch’, you’re thinking. Awkward? Well, think again.

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May 23 2011

The show must go on

If you have already decided on what you’re doing, then why are you asking me?

When I woke up this morning, I got a phone call from a friend I was supposed to meet in Athens later next week. ‘Hey, when are you coming’? Having discussed this a million times, I kinda thought we had established it, but obviously not quite. ‘Next week, didn’t we say? Next Saturday I’ll be there’. He paused, trying to see how he would say this. ‘Oh… Ok’… ‘Why? Is there a problem’? ‘No, not at all… It’s just that my friends suggested going away for a few days… To an island or something’. I immediately knew where this was going. ‘Ok then, do you want to go, and see each other when you come back’? He rushed to save it. ‘No, no way. I would only go if you were coming later, and I could combine both. I would much rather spend time with you’… Since he sounded the opposite of convincing, I had to double-check. ‘Are you sure? Because I wouldn’t have a problem with seeing my family first and then getting together to do something just a few days later’. He thought about it for a few seconds. ‘Ok! Sounds cool. I’ll see you in two weeks then’! ‘So when are you leaving?’, I asked. ‘Tonight! I’ve already packed my things, the guys are coming to pick me up any minute now, so I have to go, bye’!

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May 18 2011

This sex is on fire

Isn’t anyone out there having sex normally anymore?

Today I realised that I might be one of the very few last standing, that still have sex with one guy, on their bed, in their house. When I woke up this morning, I checked my e-mails and saw that I had received a message from a girl I knew, who was saying: ‘I had a foursome last night and it was wild! We were on this deserted beach, we lit a fire, and we all had sex together. It was amazing, something I believe everyone should experience at least once before they die. It was more of a Dionysian mystery, more like an ecstatic cult, a ritual. Not just sex, but so much more. So, anyway, how are things with you’? I enjoyed the message for its comedic value, I replied that I would be sure to try this Dionysian mystery of four the minute nothing better was on TV, and then went on to tell her all about what has been happening in my ‘boring’ life.

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May 16 2011

I know what you did last summer

If you know, then why am I telling you?

This morning I was talking to Theo about something that was obviously not interesting enough for him. Fair enough, it wasn’t even very interesting to me, but I kept trying to maintain a conversation, so that we wouldn’t sit in absolute silence. But as his eyes slowly got lost looking at something else, I stopped talking for a few seconds, wanting to check whether he was at least hearing me. Turns out he wasn’t. ‘Ground control to Major Tom’? He nodded, having shut me out completely. ‘I know, I know’… ‘Do you?’, I insisted. He gave me a few more nods: ‘Yeah, I couldn’t agree more’. Being bothered by it, I asked him to tell me what I had said that he so much agreed on. ‘I heard you! I was listening’. ‘So then you can tell me. What was I saying’? He paused, trying to take himself back, to the most recent memory of me talking. ‘You said that you got annoyed by that comment that your friend made under your picture on Facebook’? I smiled, realising how bigger than I actually thought the problem really was. ‘I said that half an hour ago, Theo’. He looked around him, looking for the fire exit. ‘Oh… Didn’t you repeat it though, again, a bit later? I’m sure you did’…

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May 13 2011

Action speaks louder than words. But not nearly as often.

Speak up people. Say what you want.

Today I put my Converse on and went for a long walk outside Florence. But after a couple of hours of walking and listening to music in my mp3 player, something happened to one of my headphones and so I slowed down to take a look. Seeing that the light had just turned green in front of me, I crossed the street, while keeping my eyes on the mp3 player and trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

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