Tag Archive 'assisted living'

Nov 16 2012

If I burn the house down, it will be on purpose

Ok, so Friday was spent with friends and Saturday with old people. And as life goes on, I am slowly realising that people my age are constantly repeating themselves, whereas the aged have the skills, knowledge and experience that allows them to truly have fun. With this important conclusion in mind, I’ll go back to the beginning and explain why my terrorist group will only recruit old people and why Saturday Night Live would be a million times better if hosted in a seniors home.

Last Friday I met up with a few friends and went out for drinks. The stories, the usual. One went cycling this week, another one is climbing regularly now — and which one is the best type of exercise for building up muscle? They are still a couple, but he made a move on this other girl last week, when they were both drunk of course, so they can’t remember anything now. I didn’t call him back when he left a message and pretended to have forgotten all about his birthday — not to come across clingy. Men like independent women and The Master is coming out this week. It should be good to see, Paul Anderson is a genius. Besides, who isn’t when you’re our age?

The night ended with a bunch of drunken retards fighting, girls crying in the bathrooms with their hair all over the place and their shoes in their hands. Taxis nowhere to be found. Some racist comments, some sexist remarks. But it will all be good tomorrow, cause no one will remember anything. And of course, a few of us recently converted to Buddhism.

My generation is out of ideas.

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