Tag Archive 'email'

Oct 21 2011

Deadly Disease

“There’s only one fatal disease, I’ve concluded.  It’s called hypochondria. And it is deadly”. Keith Richards

I was writing in my flat the other day, enjoying the beautiful warm sun shining through my big windows, listening to Neil Diamond, finally seeing a potential good day ahead of me, when the phone rang. “Hey grandma, how are you”? She exhaled. “Angeliki, be honest with me… Are you drinking enough pomegranate juice”? I held back from sharing all my thoughts with her. “No, grandma. I really am not”. It turned out I should have lied. “Angeliki, listen to me. This is not a joke. This is not something to write on your blog about. This is your health, this is your body. Do you know what I heard? I found out that pomegranate juice saves you from breast cancer, prostate cancer –“. “I think I’m safe in that area grandma”… “It protects the bones, the teeth, the heart. Do you know that if you drink two glasses of pomegranate juice a day you have 50% less chances of having a heart attack”? “Grandma, why would I ever have a heart attack? I’m 29 years old, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t drink coffee –” She immediately went crazy. “Yes Angeliki, but you don’t drink pomegranate juice either”! I sighed. “No, that’s true. I don’t”. “And I can’t help but worry”… I left her for a few seconds to calm down. “In any case, I went to the supermarket today and bought a few kilos of them. You see, I haven’t given up on myself completely”. “Ok, grandma”… “I don’t like playing around with my health, you see”…

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

May 23 2011

The show must go on

If you have already decided on what you’re doing, then why are you asking me?

When I woke up this morning, I got a phone call from a friend I was supposed to meet in Athens later next week. ‘Hey, when are you coming’? Having discussed this a million times, I kinda thought we had established it, but obviously not quite. ‘Next week, didn’t we say? Next Saturday I’ll be there’. He paused, trying to see how he would say this. ‘Oh… Ok’… ‘Why? Is there a problem’? ‘No, not at all… It’s just that my friends suggested going away for a few days… To an island or something’. I immediately knew where this was going. ‘Ok then, do you want to go, and see each other when you come back’? He rushed to save it. ‘No, no way. I would only go if you were coming later, and I could combine both. I would much rather spend time with you’… Since he sounded the opposite of convincing, I had to double-check. ‘Are you sure? Because I wouldn’t have a problem with seeing my family first and then getting together to do something just a few days later’. He thought about it for a few seconds. ‘Ok! Sounds cool. I’ll see you in two weeks then’! ‘So when are you leaving?’, I asked. ‘Tonight! I’ve already packed my things, the guys are coming to pick me up any minute now, so I have to go, bye’!

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

May 11 2011

The Fast and the Furious

Can you at least pretend to be in a hurry?…

This morning Theo and I got caught in a crazy rain, and as it always happens when the thunderstorm comes, I was wearing a white top, that became completely see-through in no time. Theo, wearing his blue t-shirt, and not having breasts he needed to hide, underneath, was cool about the whole thing, and kept trying to chat with me on our upcoming summer plans: ‘We could go for a month to Greece and split our time between my island and yours. And then go for a bit to see Lara in Mallorca, perhaps? I don’t know, go to London and visit Eleni? I don’t know, what do you think’?…

Continue Reading …

2 responses so far

Apr 22 2011

Jealousy will drive you… Mad!

You’ve got it all mixed up. Jealousy is not when they’re right. Jealousy is when they’re wrong.

Today I found myself in between a group of morons. Having met up with some friends at a trattoria for lunch, we had some drinks and chatted about what’s been happening lately in everybody’s life. At some point, something one of the guys said triggered a long and highly frustrating discussion on jealousy: ‘I think I’m gonna break up with Clara. Things have been really bad between us, and to be honest I don’t see a way out of this’… I looked at the others around me, trying to copy their reactions, since I didn’t have one of my own. The majority went for something that sounded like ‘aw… That’s too bad… I’m so sorry’, so I thought I’d join. ‘What happened?’, I dared to ask. He took a while trying to decide whether he should be honest or not. ‘Jealousy’. I nodded, sympathetically: ‘The worst’, I said, feeling for him.

Continue Reading …

2 responses so far

Apr 19 2011

Is this your best shot?

To annoy me, make me angry and drive me completely crazy, is easy. It’s perhaps the easiest thing out there. But to make my sister lose it? Now, that takes skills. Dedication. Perseverance.

This morning I got a phone call from my sister, which lasted quite a long time. With Georgia having the reputation of the most patient person in the world, I was very taken aback by her opening line: ‘She made me reach my limit. I actually lost it with her today’. All at once I was 10% worried about my sister, and 90% impressed by that person that had made her reach her limit. It could have only been one: Her flatmate. Only she could have done it this smoothly. Only she could have shown no mercy.

Continue Reading …

4 responses so far

Apr 08 2011

Blog, uncensored

This blog will not be censored. Unless… We can sort out some kind of an agreement.

Today I received a long e-mail from my grandma. Somewhere between telling me what I should eat and not eat and what type of exercise I should do, she dedicated a whole paragraph with things that she didn’t like and wanted different about this blog: ‘In these diary-articles you write so beautifully, you mention sugary, fattening types of food way too often for my liking. All these snacks and candy bars you promote are harmful, and this way of eating is not to be advertised. From now on I expect you to write more about healthy eating and the benefits of exercising. I expect you to use this blog in order to help people achieve a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and of course you should mention your opposition to doctors and mainstream medicine. Don’t be afraid to take sides and please make it clear that a healthy diet can save people from diseases and complications they would definitely like to avoid, in the future. Keep up the good work’.

Continue Reading …

2 responses so far

Dec 08 2010

Thicker and Harder

Ok, I know that sex sells, but people, know your audience! It’s going to increase your sales big time.

This morning I switched on my laptop to write, and checked my emails. The first one, at the top immediately caught my attention for the obvious reasons: ‘Angeliki, with this pill, you can bang her all night long’! I was very pleased to be informed of this, I had only one question: Who? Who am I gonna be banging all night long? Because if it’s Salma Hayek, let’s do it, let’s go for that pill. But what if it’s not? Please tell me what my options are here. I might not want that pill after all.

Continue Reading …

3 responses so far

Nov 30 2010

Don’t worry, restart

I did an experiment today. I replied to every text and email I got, the same thing: ‘Did you try restarting your computer’? And I found that restarting the computer, is actually the answer to all our problems.

This morning I woke up to find thirty emails in my inbox. But since I had decided that this would be my day off, I decided to not read them, and just go for the safest bet. I wrote an email that said ‘Did you try restarting your computer?’ and sent it to every single person that had emailed me.

I went out for a walk and came back later in the afternoon to see the results. I checked my inbox, and everybody had emailed me back. Twenty-eight out of the thirty people I had sent the email to, had replied something along the lines ‘wow, thanks, this really helped’, or ‘you always just know how to save the day, thank you’. The other two emails were ‘what?’ and ‘yeah, I did, but still doesn’t work’.

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

Nov 29 2010

You’re being punk’d

I suggest we all start double-checking the numbers we call and text. The addresses we send emails to. The flats we promise pizzas to…

Today I got up to find a text from a friend which said: ‘I’m really sorry. I know you probably don’t want anything to do with me, but I have to at least tell you that I know I was 100% wrong, and that I’m really sorry’. I read it again and again, trying to get what she was talking about, but couldn’t remember anything that had wrong between us. I decided I was that nice of a person that could never hold a grudge, and that I should find it in my heart to forgive her, so I did: ‘It’s fine, don’t worry about it, we all have our bad days. Just don’t do stuff like this to anyone else, because no one out there is as patient and forgiving as I am’. When her reply came, I realised I never run out of credit on my phone when it’s needed: ‘Angeliki, my text was meant to be for someone else, but seriously, you’re so funny’.

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

Nov 19 2010

Therapy is on my side

I decided today that my favourite people in this world are the psychologists. They are my new best friends, they make my life easy, and before Christmas, I’ll get the therapist directory and send them all a ‘thank you’ card.

When I woke up this morning I looked at my watch and realised I had slept in quite a bit, which very rarely happens, since the phone always starts ringing just after 7am. It was 9.30, and there was not even a missed call on my phone. Feeling a bit worried, but happy I had gotten the rest I needed, I went out for a walk.

I put my headphones on and decided to explore a new side of Florence, I had never been before. After a couple of hours of just walking around, enjoying the sun, and replying ‘ciao’ to every single man passing, I checked my phone to see who was going crazy over me not hearing their calls. But much to my surprise, no one. Everyone had gone completely quiet, and it was already 1pm, which is usually our peak time for crazy, hysterical phone calls.

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

Next »