Tag Archive 'Italy'

Nov 16 2012

If I burn the house down, it will be on purpose

Ok, so Friday was spent with friends and Saturday with old people. And as life goes on, I am slowly realising that people my age are constantly repeating themselves, whereas the aged have the skills, knowledge and experience that allows them to truly have fun. With this important conclusion in mind, I’ll go back to the beginning and explain why my terrorist group will only recruit old people and why Saturday Night Live would be a million times better if hosted in a seniors home.

Last Friday I met up with a few friends and went out for drinks. The stories, the usual. One went cycling this week, another one is climbing regularly now — and which one is the best type of exercise for building up muscle? They are still a couple, but he made a move on this other girl last week, when they were both drunk of course, so they can’t remember anything now. I didn’t call him back when he left a message and pretended to have forgotten all about his birthday — not to come across clingy. Men like independent women and The Master is coming out this week. It should be good to see, Paul Anderson is a genius. Besides, who isn’t when you’re our age?

The night ended with a bunch of drunken retards fighting, girls crying in the bathrooms with their hair all over the place and their shoes in their hands. Taxis nowhere to be found. Some racist comments, some sexist remarks. But it will all be good tomorrow, cause no one will remember anything. And of course, a few of us recently converted to Buddhism.

My generation is out of ideas.

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

Oct 21 2011

Deadly Disease

“There’s only one fatal disease, I’ve concluded.  It’s called hypochondria. And it is deadly”. Keith Richards

I was writing in my flat the other day, enjoying the beautiful warm sun shining through my big windows, listening to Neil Diamond, finally seeing a potential good day ahead of me, when the phone rang. “Hey grandma, how are you”? She exhaled. “Angeliki, be honest with me… Are you drinking enough pomegranate juice”? I held back from sharing all my thoughts with her. “No, grandma. I really am not”. It turned out I should have lied. “Angeliki, listen to me. This is not a joke. This is not something to write on your blog about. This is your health, this is your body. Do you know what I heard? I found out that pomegranate juice saves you from breast cancer, prostate cancer –“. “I think I’m safe in that area grandma”… “It protects the bones, the teeth, the heart. Do you know that if you drink two glasses of pomegranate juice a day you have 50% less chances of having a heart attack”? “Grandma, why would I ever have a heart attack? I’m 29 years old, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t drink coffee –” She immediately went crazy. “Yes Angeliki, but you don’t drink pomegranate juice either”! I sighed. “No, that’s true. I don’t”. “And I can’t help but worry”… I left her for a few seconds to calm down. “In any case, I went to the supermarket today and bought a few kilos of them. You see, I haven’t given up on myself completely”. “Ok, grandma”… “I don’t like playing around with my health, you see”…

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

Aug 12 2011

The Munsters

What I find interesting is that the majority of people are afraid of being alone and feel safe when staying close to their families, but at the same time they become needier and more insecure after spending time with relatives and strong and comfortable when they stay away from them for extended periods of time. So, what exactly is it that makes people feel safe around relatives in the first place? And at what point does this change and we move onto the dangerous side? When do families switch from comforting and warm, to intimidating and spooky?

Continue Reading …

4 responses so far

Jul 22 2011

Love in the time of Cholera

I know I’ve left you for a while without a blog post, but someone needs to write those dark and politically incorrect scripts out there, and since none of you is willing to do it, I was left with the dirty work. I’m back, however, and here’s what has bothered me lately.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but not telling me you love me and not reminding me I’m beautiful, doesn’t really make me less attractive or lovable, it just makes you more of an idiot. Isn’t this right?

Continue Reading …

2 responses so far

May 30 2011

The curious case of Benjamin Button

I’ve got news for you: Even if you ever managed to get that sexy girl on the cover of the magazine, you would still in time turn her into a boring and mother-like figure that looks after you, so better just leave her on that magazine, where she looks better and is definitely having more fun.

Continue Reading …

4 responses so far

May 26 2011

Brokeback Mountain

What does it say about you, when your boyfriends like each other’s company more than your own?

And so we’re back in Athens, this time with Theo, this being the first time since my first long-term relationship, that a boyfriend of mine is entering the house, my group of friends, my Greek life. And more than anything, this being the first time that my current boyfriend meets my main ex and spends time with him. ‘Ouch’, you’re thinking. Awkward? Well, think again.

Continue Reading …

2 responses so far

May 23 2011

The show must go on

If you have already decided on what you’re doing, then why are you asking me?

When I woke up this morning, I got a phone call from a friend I was supposed to meet in Athens later next week. ‘Hey, when are you coming’? Having discussed this a million times, I kinda thought we had established it, but obviously not quite. ‘Next week, didn’t we say? Next Saturday I’ll be there’. He paused, trying to see how he would say this. ‘Oh… Ok’… ‘Why? Is there a problem’? ‘No, not at all… It’s just that my friends suggested going away for a few days… To an island or something’. I immediately knew where this was going. ‘Ok then, do you want to go, and see each other when you come back’? He rushed to save it. ‘No, no way. I would only go if you were coming later, and I could combine both. I would much rather spend time with you’… Since he sounded the opposite of convincing, I had to double-check. ‘Are you sure? Because I wouldn’t have a problem with seeing my family first and then getting together to do something just a few days later’. He thought about it for a few seconds. ‘Ok! Sounds cool. I’ll see you in two weeks then’! ‘So when are you leaving?’, I asked. ‘Tonight! I’ve already packed my things, the guys are coming to pick me up any minute now, so I have to go, bye’!

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

May 18 2011

This sex is on fire

Isn’t anyone out there having sex normally anymore?

Today I realised that I might be one of the very few last standing, that still have sex with one guy, on their bed, in their house. When I woke up this morning, I checked my e-mails and saw that I had received a message from a girl I knew, who was saying: ‘I had a foursome last night and it was wild! We were on this deserted beach, we lit a fire, and we all had sex together. It was amazing, something I believe everyone should experience at least once before they die. It was more of a Dionysian mystery, more like an ecstatic cult, a ritual. Not just sex, but so much more. So, anyway, how are things with you’? I enjoyed the message for its comedic value, I replied that I would be sure to try this Dionysian mystery of four the minute nothing better was on TV, and then went on to tell her all about what has been happening in my ‘boring’ life.

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

May 16 2011

I know what you did last summer

If you know, then why am I telling you?

This morning I was talking to Theo about something that was obviously not interesting enough for him. Fair enough, it wasn’t even very interesting to me, but I kept trying to maintain a conversation, so that we wouldn’t sit in absolute silence. But as his eyes slowly got lost looking at something else, I stopped talking for a few seconds, wanting to check whether he was at least hearing me. Turns out he wasn’t. ‘Ground control to Major Tom’? He nodded, having shut me out completely. ‘I know, I know’… ‘Do you?’, I insisted. He gave me a few more nods: ‘Yeah, I couldn’t agree more’. Being bothered by it, I asked him to tell me what I had said that he so much agreed on. ‘I heard you! I was listening’. ‘So then you can tell me. What was I saying’? He paused, trying to take himself back, to the most recent memory of me talking. ‘You said that you got annoyed by that comment that your friend made under your picture on Facebook’? I smiled, realising how bigger than I actually thought the problem really was. ‘I said that half an hour ago, Theo’. He looked around him, looking for the fire exit. ‘Oh… Didn’t you repeat it though, again, a bit later? I’m sure you did’…

Continue Reading …

No responses yet

May 11 2011

The Fast and the Furious

Can you at least pretend to be in a hurry?…

This morning Theo and I got caught in a crazy rain, and as it always happens when the thunderstorm comes, I was wearing a white top, that became completely see-through in no time. Theo, wearing his blue t-shirt, and not having breasts he needed to hide, underneath, was cool about the whole thing, and kept trying to chat with me on our upcoming summer plans: ‘We could go for a month to Greece and split our time between my island and yours. And then go for a bit to see Lara in Mallorca, perhaps? I don’t know, go to London and visit Eleni? I don’t know, what do you think’?…

Continue Reading …

2 responses so far

Next »